I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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