how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
