You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
