O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
