The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
