never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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