I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
