I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
