My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
