at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
