So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
