She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
