shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
