So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think my moral compass just broke
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