why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
