Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
