Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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