Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
