I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
