what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
