You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
try to milk me bitch
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
