so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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