You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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