I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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