The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
