they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
