He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
