He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
