If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
