thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
