hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
