Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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