I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
