Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
