In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
