I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
