1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How does it feel to date your dad?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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