I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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