I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
