Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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