you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize