Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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