They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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