Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
