I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
