I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
