Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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