If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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