if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
