Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
