Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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